Horses, veggie subs, and shower-dwelling spiders

I spent all morning and half the afternoon at the barn. I stayed long after my lesson was over because the weather was so lovely. The sky was clear and the sun beautifully warm. I took my horse (G) over to the 4-H area where there was a lovely field of newly-grown grass, sprung up after the rain. I sat on a tree stump and watched him graze. It was good to sit down and bask in the light, no obligations, no schedule, no pressure.

I began thinking about horses. What purpose do they really serve as animals? In the grand scheme of things, they are non-essential, except perhaps as natural lawn mowers with built-in fertilizers. They are omnivores, so they don't keep any other animal population in check. But neither do they make easy prey (such as deer) for carnivores higher on the food chain. I can then come to the only logical conclusion: that horses were created to have a relationship with man.

And I wondered what went through the head of my oldest ancestor when he first decided to sit on the horse's back. I wonder if he marveled that they fit so perfectly together, like two pieces in the puzzle of the universe. Maybe he didn't have time to think anything before the horse began bucking and crowhopping and doing everything to get him off. It still amazes me that, after time and dedication, they can learn to trust us.

After I left the barn I went to Subway and had my first vegetarian fast food: a six-inch veggie sub. It tasted almost exactly like an Italian sub (my favorite). I barely noticed that the meat was gone. Barely. It's funny, I've only been a vegetarian for two days but already I've noticed that I feel hungry more often. I definitely need to find some filling substitutes for meat. Like, soon. Before I have a cow (get it? harharhar...).

I hopped in the shower when I got home to wash off the stable dust. After ten minutes or so (I take ridiculously long showers) I noticed that there was a spider hiding in a fold at the bottom of my plastic shower curtain. I thought it was awfully clever of him to hide in the plastic as it would protect him from the water. I continued my luxurious and lengthy shower, playing it cool. For the record, I hate spiders. I hate when they seem to appear of nowhere. I'm okay with them once I have them in my sights, although the way they move gives me the willies and makes me jumpy. Especially the big brown hairy ones. But even though I greatly dislike them, I hate killing things, spiders included. The only things I can snuff without a conscious are black widows and ticks.

At last when I turned the water off, I took a closer look at my eight-legged friend. To my dismay, I saw that the pocket of plastic which I had believed was shielding him from the spray had filled with water. I drained it, but the spider didn't move, and his legs were curled in that unmistakable sign of a dead spider. I felt responsible for the death of this spider. If I would only have stopped the shower and shooed him to a safer spot outside the tub he would still be alive.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I felt really awful that I could have saved him, and didn't. I experienced the same sinking feeling that I felt when I passed up a hitchhiker and the time the car in front of me hit a deer and I didn't stop (I did actually go back, but it took me several minutes to turn around). It makes you feel like the opposite of a hero. Not an evil person, but a person who makes the wrong choices. However, now that I've confessed I feel that I have acquitted myself of that misdeed and my conscious can go about unburdened.

I made my first vlog for my new channel and will post it tonight. It can be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/user/misswithapegasus though I don't suggest watching it if you've read my first blog, as I essentially reiterate what I wrote there. It's not a very good video, but I made it on principal. My future ones will hopefully be both more interesting and shorter.

The rest of my day was relatively uneventful and therefore I will not write of it. So far, I think my resolutions are coming along nicely. Two days down, 363 more to go!