Explanations, NOT excuses

I've already failed several of my new year's resolutions pretty epically. But that does not mean that I should scrap them! So, here goes nothing.

Seeing that I want to become a writer, I thought that blogging everyday would be a good step toward learning to write regularly. Obviously, writing two days out of thirty-one isn't such a good start, but it's a start nontheless. And to give myself a pat on the back, I really have made progress, however small. In the past, when I failed to achieve a goal, I would lose hope and give up on it altogether. Now, however, I'm acknowledging my shortcomings and trying again with a hope to do better. It's difference between being thrown and walking away and being thrown and getting back on.

I have several very good excuses available to me as to why I didn't write every day in January, but I'm not going to use them. The truth is, I was scared. I didn't know what to write, and if I was going to write, I wanted it to have a purpose, I wanted it to be interesting, and I wanted it to have meaning and intrigue. Well I've since realized that's not what this resolution is about. I want to learn the discipline of writing every day, because if I ever hope to become a professional, that's what I'll have to do. That means I will have to write whether or not I feel like it and whether or not I have anything to write about. That means no more excuses. I feel very sure that I will have many more relapses before this year is out, but if I improve (however slightly) each month, that will keep me happy. Hopefully by the time December rolls around, I will have learned how to write every day.

On a separate but related note, I am making my first amendment to my resolutions. My #3 resolution was to keep an idea journal. Basically this was my way of mollifying the internal voices that were whispering to me in nagging tones, "You're a wannabe writer who never writes". I justified myself by telling the voices that I was too busy to really write anything, but I would keep and idea journal instead, so that all my inspirations (which come few and far between) would be locked up in there for the day when I finally got a grip and decided to spend time exploring them and writing (imagine that!). Total B.S.

So, I am amending my #3 resolution by changing it from "Keep an idea journal" to "Write for thirty minutes every day". This will include the time I spend blogging, but will be an added incentive for me to get into the habit of writing regularly for set periods of time. I wanted to make it an hour, but I think this early in the game it's unwise to push it. If I'm able to write for a half hour every day, then maybe I'll try an hour every day. We'll see. Right now, I'm just taking small steps. I'll leave you with a quote which encouraged me greatly as an aspiring author.

"What amazes me is that most days feel useless. I don't seem to accomplish anything-just a few pages, most of which don't seem very good. Yet, when I put all those wasted days together, I somehow end up with a book of which I'm very proud."
— Louis Sachar